Why Most People Don’t Actually Love Themselves (And What to Do Instead)

Let’s get honest for a second.

Most people don’t actually love themselves.

They love the version of themselves that performs.
That pleases.
That gets things done.
That gets “likes.”
That gets praise.

But let’s call it what it really is:
That’s not love.
That’s approval.
And approval is incredibly fragile.

It disappears the moment you mess up.
The moment you don’t meet the expectation.
The moment your humanity shows.

So let me ask you this…

What If You Loved Yourself the Way You'd Love a Child?

If you had a child—your own or even someone else's—you wouldn’t revoke your love the moment they failed, right?

Would you still love that child if they…

• Bombed a test?

• Struggled with anxiety?

• Didn’t become who you hoped they’d be?

• Made a mistake that embarrassed you?

• Gained weight?

• Lost their confidence?

You wouldn’t stop loving them.
You’d pull them closer.

So here’s the real question:
Why don’t we do that with ourselves?

Most people are unknowingly stuck on what I call “The Bridge of Conditions.”

They believe that when they finally get to the other side—when they meet all the conditions—then they’ll finally be “enough.”

Then they’ll rest.
Then they’ll breathe.
Then they’ll be worthy of love.

So what do they do?

They walk.
And walk.
And walk...

• Chasing more money

• Chasing better bodies

• Chasing deeper love

• Chasing more impressive titles

• Chasing approval from people who don’t even know them

And still—they never arrive.

Because this bridge?
It’s not real.
It just keeps moving.

And here’s what I want to say to you if you’re stuck on that bridge:

You don’t reach unconditional self-love by stacking conditions.
You reach it by burning the list.
By stepping off the bridge completely.

You Were Never Supposed to Perform for Love

This is the lie so many achievers, helpers, and perfectionists carry:
That love must be earned.

And the more you’ve been praised for performing—being strong, capable, productive—the harder it is to believe you’re loved just because you exist.

But listen closely:

You don’t have to earn what’s already yours.
You don’t have to perform to be worthy.
You don’t have to hustle your way into wholeness.

You’re already whole.
You just forgot.

And when you remember that…
That’s when the healing begins.

Not because you’ve become “perfect”—but because you’ve finally stopped running.

Try This: A 60-Second Reset

If you’re feeling the weight of that endless chase right now, here’s something simple to help you step off the bridge—at least for a moment:

Close your eyes.

Take a breath in through your nose.
And as you exhale, imagine placing the entire checklist—all the “shoulds,” “not yet,” and “once I’m better” thoughts—into a box.
Visualize it clearly.

Then, set that box down.
You’re not throwing it away—you’re just not carrying it right now.

Now ask yourself:

“What if I was already enough—just as I am, today?”

Let that question linger.
Not to fix or force anything.
Just to be with it.

This one shift can open more peace than hours of trying to be perfect ever will.

Here's What I Know

I work with high performers, caregivers, and professionals who look put together on the outside—but inside, they’re tired.
Tired of chasing.
Tired of pretending.
Tired of the cycle of self-sabotage that keeps them from peace.

And here’s what’s true for every single one of them:
They were never broken.
But their beliefs about love were.

If any part of this hits home—then I want to invite you to something simple.

Not a performance. Not a pitch.
Just a conversation.

A free consult where we explore what it would look like to finally get off the bridge... and begin building a foundation for real peace and sustainable success.

You don’t need fixing.
You just need to reconnect with the parts of you that already know you’re lovable.

Let’s talk.

Book your free consult here:
Request an Invitation to counseling/coaching:  https://forms.gle/uMudTfmnNKE2demD6

You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
You’re not too late.

You’re just remembering now.
And that’s where the real transformation begins.

With heart,
—Casey

THIS WEEK ONLY: Download the corresponding audio Thought Activation Exercise for FREE!
https://www.caseycolecorbin.com/view/courses/activation-thought-exercise-library-of-resources/2672112-resources-audios-you-can-listen-to-now/10129053-self-love-bridge-audio



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