Why You Keep Sabotaging Your Own Success (And What Finally Helped Me Stop)

A story about inner conflict, breakthrough, and a different kind of healing.

There’s a quiet kind of suffering I see a lot.
People who are strong, accomplished, and looked up to—yet silently unraveling.

They show up to life.
They push through.
They do all the “right” things.

And still, there’s this undercurrent of chaos inside—this sense that no matter how much progress they make, something keeps pulling them backward.

I know that feeling because I lived it.

The Hidden Cost of High Achievement

My background?
Credentialed counselor for over 25 years.
Coach. Speaker. Supporter of others.

From the outside, I had it together.
But on the inside, I was tired—emotionally, spiritually, and mentally drained.

And worse, I couldn’t figure out why.
I was doing the work. Practicing what I preached. Leading others through transformation.

But I hadn’t yet turned that same light fully inward.

It wasn’t until I paused long enough to listen to my own inner world that I realized:

My “stuckness” wasn’t a mindset problem.
It was an internal relationship problem.

Self-Sabotage Isn’t Laziness. It’s Loyalty.

Here’s something I’ve learned after thousands of hours with clients—and just as many with myself:

Self-sabotage is often your system trying to protect you.

There’s a part of you that wants success…
…and a part of you that’s deeply afraid of what success might cost.

Sometimes it’s not even your success that’s scary.
It’s what success might make possible.

A Personal Story I Haven’t Shared Before

For me, there was a season where a part of me sabotaged financial success.
And not because I didn’t want to thrive—but because I knew if I had extra money, I’d give it away to someone I love deeply.

Someone in my family struggling with active addiction.
Someone I couldn’t stop helping, even when helping meant hurting.
Every request made sense. Every story had just enough truth.

But it never stopped.
And I couldn’t see it clearly because when you love someone that much, the professional wisdom gets fogged by unconditional love.
You know that old saying about the shoemaker’s kids having no shoes?
Well, counselors often can't counsel their own family. We’re too close. We can’t see it. Not really.

And parts of me knew that.
Parts of me didn’t.
But eventually… they all came to agreement.

The Day Everything Shifted

It was the worst day.
I had to say no.

They didn’t take it well. Family turned on me. The narrative flipped.
People who didn’t understand the full story judged me for setting boundaries.

But something else happened that day, too:
I laid down the structure for how I would help moving forward—and how I wouldn’t.
For the first time, having extra money felt safe.

That was the day all my parts finally got it.
The scared one. The over-giver. The counselor. The protector.
They came into alignment.

I thought it was the worst day.
But it became the best day.

The day that turned sabotage into safety.
The day success became possible—not just for me, but for the people I love.

What Helped Me Break the Loop

Here’s what made the difference for me—and now, for my clients:

🔹 I stopped trying to “fix” myself, and started listening.

Especially to the parts I’d buried under achievement or shame.

🔹 I facilitated internal collaboration.

Like group therapy—but within my own internal system.

🔹 I started using Activation Thought Exercises daily.

They help you hear the parts that feel unheard—and guide them with compassion.

🔹 I stopped seeing my subconscious as a saboteur.

And started treating it like a protector doing its best with outdated information.

Try This: A Practice for Internal Alignment

If any part of this feels familiar, try this short practice:

🧠 Ask yourself: “What part of me is resisting this change?”
Then: “What are you afraid will happen if we succeed?”
Listen—don’t argue.
Then ask, “What would you need to feel safe moving forward with me?”

That simple act—of listening rather than resisting—can change everything.

A Different Kind of Success

The most profound breakthroughs I’ve seen (and lived) aren’t flashy.
They’re quiet.
Steady.
And they last.

Because they come from alignment—not force.

People report:

• Feeling emotionally stable for the first time in years

• Taking action without pressure or perfectionism

• Rebuilding self-trust

• Letting go of guilt and finally breathing again

Final Thought: You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Divided.

You don’t need to hustle your way to healing.
You don’t need to earn your peace.
And you don’t need to keep pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t.

The truth is: your inner world is waiting to work with you—not against you.

If any of this resonates, maybe it’s time to listen a little differently.

Start here: Take the Self-Sabotage Assessment https://self-sabotage-solver.lovable.app/
You might hear what your inner self has been trying to say all along.

Written by Casey Cole Corbin – Counselor, Coach, and Inner Healing Strategist
Helping people move from self-sabotage to self-trust, from scattered to whole.