Pondering Sunday, Lentils, and Learning Not to React

My cousin Gina sends these Sunday emails to her list over at lovemiddlelife.com.

They’re conversational. Honest. Sometimes gently rebellious. She’ll say something that might ruffle a feather and then just… leave it there. No over-explaining. No defending.

If you like it, you lean in.
If you don’t, you unsubscribe.

I’ve gotten into the habit of replying to her every time she writes.

Even if it’s just, “That was beautiful.”
Often it’s more. Sometimes I challenge her a little. Sometimes I tell her what it stirred in me.

There’s something about not just consuming someone’s reflection but responding to it.

Midlife feels like that too.

A responding season.

Life has shifted in ways I didn’t plan.
Mom is in Memory Care now. Visits are tender and disorienting.
Dad lives thirteen hours away.
My kids are building their own lives — I’m with them as much as their lives allow.

That sentence alone says more than it looks like it does.

So I’m building something new.

New rhythms.
New relationships.
Traveling more. Sitting at tables that weren’t part of my story ten years ago. Learning what it means to find family instead of assume it.

It’s not dramatic.
It’s steady.

I’m leaning into legumes lately. Fermenting lentils.

Two days of soaking and waiting so they’re more digestible.

There’s something honest about that. You can’t rush fermentation. You can’t force readiness. You let the process do its quiet work.

Aging feels like that too.

Not decay.
Refinement.

Mentoring instead of proving.
Listening instead of reacting.

And here’s something I didn’t expect:

I used to feel certain emotional triggers like rejection. Sharp. Immediate. Almost physical.

Lately when I feel one rise, I pause and internally yell,
“I’m being triggered!!!”

Not out loud.
Just enough to name it.

Then I stay with the sensation. Let it burn through my body for almost a full minute. Like an internal reset. Something about letting the wave pass instead of wrestling it.

And then it’s gone.

Not suppressed. Not ignored. Just… metabolized.

And I respond instead of react.

That feels like success to me right now.

Not flashy.
Not performative.
Just mature.

Midlife isn’t about getting louder.
It’s about getting steadier.

So I’m curious —

What are you metabolizing instead of reacting to these days?

What has shifted that you didn’t plan for… but you’re quietly building around anyway?

And do you reply to the people who move you?
Or do you just scroll?

You can reply to this. Even a sentence.

I read them.

-Casey