Relationships upgrade!
Got to work at it to keep it for your relationship is like "use it or lose it" to your health.
I can't tell you the number of times that someone I am helping asks me to help them know what to expect and mentally and emotionally prepare for their first couples counseling session. I get it! It's scary! Something you never thought you would be doing and feeling particularly unprepared.
Here's some relief! Feel your stressy-anticipation (anxiety) reduce as you read this.
(Already a member? This link will send you directly to the right section of this course to download your worksheet!)
https://www.caseycolecorbin.com/view/courses/relationship/3428888-the-work/11344426-couples-therapy-prep-worksheet-pdf
We are planning mentally. But have you even thought that you can plan your emotions too? When you have a meeting at work, you set an agenda, have 3 main points you want to make, and some specific decisions that are on the table. Well, just like you can organize your thoughts, you can do this with your feelings too! Well, to some extent.
Most people feel overwhelmed when starting couples counseling because there is just so much stuff! Go back to the idea of that meeting at work. You know, there you cannot cover everything in one meeting. Same thing emotionally in your session. The first session is basically an icebreaker and to set an agenda for what to expect. Yes, you will be asked to share, but anything you are not emotionally or mentally ready to do, you simply say, "I am not ready to share that yet, as I need to prepare myself, but I promise, I am here to do that work, and I will share that next time." This conveys several important things: you are prioritizing taking care of yourself, you are willing for your spouse to have the same safety, and you are in this for the long haul. (I do recommend that you understand and commit to this process for 6 to 12 months.)
Below is the same as the attached downloadable prep worksheet to be used BEFORE attending your first Couples Counseling session with a professional practitioner:
🧠Couples Therapy Prep Worksheet
A self-guided reflection to help you show up with clarity, calm, and courage.
🛑 Before You Begin
This is not a worksheet to impress your partner or therapist — it’s to help you get grounded, clear, and emotionally prepared for the journey of couples work.
You don’t have to have all the answers. But showing up with intention can change everything.
1. How do I want to show up in the session?
(Check all that apply or add your own)
âś… Calm
âś… Honest
âś… Grounded
âś… Humble
âś… Respectful
âś… Curious
âś… Clear about my needs
âś… Open to feedback
âś… Ready to take ownership
2. What am I most afraid will happen in the session?
(Name the fear to disarm the fear)
That I’ll be blamed or shamed
That I’ll shut down or get defensive
That I’ll lose control emotionally
That nothing will change
That the therapist will take sides
That I’ll feel hopeless or misunderstood
[Write your own: _______________________]
3. What is NOT helpful to bring into this session?
(Pick one or more)
❌ Scorekeeping or past weaponized mistakes
❌ Passive-aggressive comments
❌ Trying to “win” or prove I’m right
❌ Bringing up unrelated issues
❌ Interrupting or escalating tone
❌ [Add your own: _______________________]
4. What do I actually want to say or communicate clearly?
(Try finishing these statements...)
“I’ve been feeling…”
“What I need is…”
“What hurts the most is…”
“One thing I want to be better at is…”
“I want to understand…”
“I’m willing to work on…”
“When I think about our future, I…”
5. What am I willing to take responsibility for?
(Circle or list below)
My reactions
My tone
My body language
Avoiding hard conversations
Assuming instead of asking
Letting wounds fester
[Add your own: _______________________]
6. What support do I need from the therapist?
(Examples: help staying on track, not escalating, being understood, etc.)
Help naming what I’m feeling
Help making sure I’m heard
Help not getting stuck in the past
Help setting shared goals
Help creating safety
Help with parenting dynamics
Help slowing things down
[Write your own: _______________________]
7. What would “a good session” look like to me?
A small breakthrough or shift
Feeling heard
Making one decision or commitment
Staying calm
No yelling or defensiveness
[Your answer: _______________________]
🕊️ Reminder:
This session isn’t about who’s right.
It’s about what’s real.
Healing happens at the speed of safety.
Want this? Then Click this: https://www.caseycolecorbin.com/view/courses/relationship/3428888-the-work/11344426-couples-therapy-prep-worksheet-pdf
See ya!
-Casey (picture accurately below)
