Do you want to eliminate guilt from your life?
It starts with eliminating guilt from your vocabulary!
If we are going to eliminate the word guilt and shame from our lives and the lives of others around us. Well, we are going to set an example and model this choice for others, then they can choose to do the same or not. from the way we talk about ourselves or others, we are going to need a replacement word. That word is PREFERRED!
Prefer represents a choice. Choices we can learn from and choose to do take different actions next time. We can change and grow.
This also helps us further understand if we are dealing with guilt or shame.
-When we prefer that we would have made a different choice, that was guilt.
-When we prefer that someone else would have made a different choice, that was shame.
See how ‘prefer’ works now? Let’s practice some examples of swapping out guilt for prefer. Some also include a proactive choice for the future:
I can't shake off the guilt I feel for forgetting my best friend's birthday.
I would have preferred to remember my best friend's birthday and celebrate it together. I’m setting a reminder on my phone next time.
He carried a heavy burden of guilt for cheating on his wife.
He chose to have an affair then. He views that as a mistake and now prefers being honest and faithful to his wife.
She was consumed with guilt after stealing from her employer.
She preferred a quick fix then but now prefers to earn her income through honest means.
The defendant showed no remorse or guilt for his actions.
The defendant preferred to display no emotion or take responsibility for his actions.
The guilt of not being able to protect her children from harm weighed heavily on her.
She certainly preferred that her children were not abused, and now chooses to focus on the positive steps she could take to protect her children in the future.
I always feel so guilty. I feel so limited in life because I was so mistreated as a child.
I would have preferred that my father treated me with more love and kindness, I can now do that for myself and chose to associate only with people that treat me well.
His guilt over not speaking up when he saw his co-worker being mistreated was overwhelming.
He preferred to speak up against injustice and mistreatment in the workplace, and promised himself he will do better in the future.
She tried to assuage her guilt and felt obligated to make a large donation to charity.
She preferred to make charitable donations to help others and make a positive impact.
The guilt of breaking his promise to his mother haunted him for years.
He preferred to keep his promises to his mother and now worlds to earn her trust back.
The guilt of not living up to his parents' expectations drove him to work harder.
He preferred to dream more and work less in his 20s, but now chooses a more balanced to set realistic goals for himself and work towards them at his own pace.
He was overcome with guilt when he realized that his actions caused his friend's accident.
He preferred impulsivity and acting spontaneously back then, but now chooses to be more cautious and considerate in his actions to prevent accidents and harm to others.
Homework:
Correct yourself when you say (or think) the word “guilt” and replace it with “prefer”. We all have years of long-established habit patterns, so this isn’t going to be quickly corrected. So make it into a game! You know, like swear jars when you try to stop cussing. A quarter each time. Donate the jar when it gets full. Don’t think of it as punishment, but instead a fun little way to remind yourself. Imagine being in conversation and “guilt” comes out of your month. You stop and giggle to yourself. When the other person asks about your giggle -now have the opportunity to share how and why you are eliminating ‘guilt’ from your life. Maybe they will then think about their own relationship with that word.
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Shameless: Overcoming Guilt-Based Motivation is a part of the course
Achiever! The Self-Sabotage Fix https://www.caseycolecorbin.com/self-sabotage-fix
I recently added this section I wanted to share it with you ASAP!
If you want to get access to the whole course, for much less than the listed price, contact me and I'll make you a super deal! :)
Casey@CaseyColeCorbin.com